Vasu  Primlani  is  an  internationally  celebrated  speaker, a  business  school  and  engineering  design  professor,  somatic  therapist,  triathlete  and  environmentalist. She  is also a professional comic, and India’s one and only openly gay stand-up comedian who has had headlines shows in the US  (San  Francisco,  New  York,  Miami)  and  India  (Delhi,  Mumbai,  Bangalore).   She has also performed in 1000’s of shows and is probably the only comic in the world to perform in the air—on a Southwest Airlines flight in the US.  Travelling all the way from Delhi to emcee the Festival of South Asia at Gerrard Street in mid July, this is a show-woman you do not want to miss!  Over to her witty and exclusive interview for us at The South Asian News.

 

It was perhaps Mahatma Gandhi who said “You can take a person out of India, but you cannot take ‘India’ out of a person.” Is that why you choose to come back to India 17 years later from the US?

Not really. My father was getting old (he’s 96 now). And he’s never asked me for anything. This is the only thing he asked me – come back, these are my last few years. Oh – and – I want you to be a Doctor (PhD).

 

Delhi has been in the news for all the wrong reasons, like rape for instance.  What is it that can be done to alleviate the situation and let’s go with biting the bullet–because you’re not the type who fears backlash.  Also what does the feminist in you says to Salman Khan’s immature remark about rape.

I am a rape specialist as well. I work with rape survivors and would love to work with rapists directly. Rape happens because at the core, the person has no self-respect. In studies conducted in the US we found—guess what percentage of rapists have been raped themselves? It’s 100%. They are the first victims. Any criminologist will tell you the cycle of abuse gets passed on from generation to generation for no other reason than because that is familiar abuse to the child. If a child is exposed to verbal abuse, they are more likely to grow up and repeat or replicate the same acts; physical abuse, or sexual abuse.

To prevent rape, we have to change the parental role models, and protect our children. And for the ones who have been abused – do restorative therapy and give them their dignity back. Their safety, and their sense of self.

Coming back to Salman Khan, I did develop a joke recently. His comment is offensive because he equates not being able to walk with rape. It’s not like some gym rat boasts “See my chest? Another 2 inches and I’m Arnold Schwarzenegger.  See my legs? Another 200 squats and—it’s rape!”

 

Environmentalism certainly seems to be your second name.  Talk to us about global warming from a North American perspective, and what is it that we can change on a day-to-day basis, and what can organizations do to affect change?

Canada and the U.S. are leading countries in energy consumption – electric, gas, and combustion of carbon fuels for transport. At this point, when we are at the 11th hour of climate change, I am saying don’t make small changes. We need to make large, drastic changes. Change your mode of transport. Eat lower down the food chain. Live like our lives depended on protecting the earth, because they do.

 

Accusations and allegations have come your way even in the charity organization that you started.  How did you stand your ground when everyone was determined to defeat your true intent and purpose?

It was like I’d walked into someone’s Kafka nightmare. It’s the Wild West in India.  If anyone suspects you have money (because you are American or Canadian), they will hold a gun to your head, be prosecuted by the state, even if it means the state will break several laws in beating you down. How did I survive? I’m not sure I did. But I had people standing by me, friends, family and strangers – who in this fight between good and pure evil, stood by my side not because they knew me, but because they recognised bullshit when they saw it. I am being repaired by the hands of strong, good people, so to speak. I am alive today because of them.

 

Your website has a page that reflects multiple awards won by yourself.  What do awards mean to you?  Or rather, how much do awards mean to you and let’s address last year’s Nari Shakti Puruskar from the Government of India.

Someone recently said to me, “We are giving you this award, knowing that your real reward is your work.” Trust me, I don’t need the applause. I don’t need thanks from my Somatic clients who, with tears, learn to love themselves for the first time in their lives. I think awards are more for megalomaniacs.  As for me, I will consistentlywork whether you applaud my efforts (as many people have), or try to kill me (as some people have).

The awards I receive, the people who give them say, “We applaud your work, and we stand by you.” The President’s award said India is proud of you (and they knew about the prosecution I went through). For people who hear about the awards, I guess it says to them; treat her with respect.  She is a harbinger of change.

 

From corporate guru to stand-up comedian, you’ve certainly come a long way.  Have you found your true calling, or do you still miss the corporate world, and yes, feel free to make a joke of this serious question…

I still do corporate training and shows. I don’t think I relate to it that much except to push their agenda in incorporating sustainability. However I stand by and support corporations who make their money by doing good.

Having said that I just LOVE doing stand-up comedy. People come to watch my shows when they’ve just broken up, or they’ve been fired, or they are contemplating suicide, and the relief of laughter that they receive when I’m at my ballistic best gives them the hope again—to renew their love of life.  I encourage a rapport with my audience, sowhen people come to me and say “I peed my pants with laughter” or “When my husband and I have an argument, he usually uses one of your lines and we both laugh and the fight gets diffused.” Like all the other things I do, this is the optimal act, the superpower of me being able to change the lives of others.

 

Your Wikipedia bio says that you are ‘openly gay’.  If you are doing a stand-up and a bigot asked you what that means, how would you respond?

I’d say that means that I love. And that’s always a miracle.  It’ll probably be followed by applause.

 

Why do you think ‘being gay’ is taboo in South Asian society?  

Oh, anything outside of ‘get married and have children’ is taboo. Disability is taboo. Inter-caste marriage is taboo. Being single is taboo. The LGBT community can rest easy; it’s not them that’s hated. It’s just that their differences cannot be tolerated. It’s nothing personal.

 

Do lesbians prefer long-term relationships, and are gay men a lot more promiscuous? Have you done a comedy show on human sexuality?

That is the perception, yes. At the same time I know gay men who have been married for decades. So unless I see studies on it, I won’t state my perceived opinion. Oh sure I do shows on sexuality ALL the time! And I get applause from even seventy year old Delhi men who are tired of people treating them like ‘uncles’.

 

Have you been approached by any TV networks to have your own show, or do they consider your approach controversial?  And is laughter really the best medicine?

Not yet. Yes, they do consider me controversial (I have absolutely no idea why; aren’t I adorable!) I have had people come up to me and told me they hadn’t smiled in three days until they saw my show. And, as my friend Freddie Stebins said, who is a comedian in Miami: laughter is the best medicine. Unless it’s taken rectally.