My husband has never had a problem he hasn’t attempted to solve with an Excel spreadsheet. His brain is a calculator. With an MBA in his pocket, he manages our finances, seamlessly investing appropriately and meticulously planning our retirement. I call him my financier and marvel at the way he makes it all look so effortless.
My friends have called me a kept woman. They tease me about being completely inept when it comes to our finances. They are not wrong. I can’t even log into our accounts without a few failed attempts and desperately trying to remember our password.
My lack of engagement in our personal finances used to bother me. I would aspire to be more assertive and independent in this area, vowing to log into our bank accounts each morning and make it habitual, like checking email. But I would never follow through. I’d end up frustrated and mad at myself. Ugh! Why couldn’t I just long on and take a quick peak, become informed and educate myself? I should know when our mortgage comes out and have a solid handle on our monthly expenditures. What was my problem?
My problem is that life is busy and often overwhelming. The truth is, after ten years of marriage, my husband and I have become specialists. I am chief supply officer, constantly shopping for groceries, kids clothing and endless gifts for birthday parties, family and friends. I’m Dr. Mom, in charge of all doctor appointments, flu shots and dentist visits. I’m activities director, researching soccer, piano, voice lessons, and music classes. My husband is the CFO and COO of our household overseeing finances, taxes, insurance coverage, and additional mundane tasks that fall under this business umbrella. I’m so grateful he does this.
Ten years into our marriage, I have accepted the fact that I will never be as hands on in the financial area of our lives as I should be. Ten years later, I’m finally okay with that. I’m not going to waste any more of my time beating myself up over this topic. I’ve stopped worrying about it. I’m freeing myself of this burden.
Our life is rewarding, but full and busy. We have two bustling careers, two, young, demanding children, a house to maintain, friends and family to see. There is always too much work to get done. Laundry to be folded, errands to run, dinners to be made, a household to keep afloat. That’s just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to family life.
Marriage is a gift. A gift of somebody else and their talents. It’s so fulfilling to be in this life with a partner. My husband and I divide and conquer to save our sanity. We play to our strengths and try not to worry about weaknesses. I’m beyond blessed to have married somebody who is the yin to my yang. He excels in all the areas that I struggle. He picks up where I leave off and carries our team in so many ways. We have opposite talents, opposite strengths, opposite gifts and we embrace this. It’s our gift to each other.
If I were in charge of our finances, it would be a disaster. I’d never get them to smooth sailing because I wouldn’t be able to get past the passwords. If my husband were in charge of shopping, he’d spend hours wandering around aimlessly, completely lost and end up with nothing. For this, we’re lucky to have each other. To lean on each others strengths and embrace them. I know that my daughter will never be hitting me up for math help. She has daddy for that. I’ll be the parent to help with college essays and English homework.
I will never know as much as I should when it comes to our finances. I’m completely okay with that. Finally. Marriage is all about teamwork. I’m lucky that my teammate is such an all-star. Especially when it comes to our finances.