Q: Why is it that I keep putting everyone else’s needs ahead of mine and then I feel resentful.

A: There is a simple answer to that, but first I have a couple of questions. What are you getting out of putting everyone else first?  What need is being fulfilled by putting everyone first?

When we tend to put everyone else above our own needs, it’s because we don’t value ourselves enough.  What is happening is that you are gauging your self-worth against what others think of you.  While you may think putting other’s needs ahead of yours is out of the goodness of your heart, you’re really looking for validation of your worth from someone else. This is why you feel resentful.  The resent comes from the fact that not everyone is giving you what you are looking for.  They’ve become accustomed to your behavior and now it’s an expectation.  This is human nature. People will treat you the way that you allow them to treat you.

Guilt and low self worth are driving the bus and in order for the resentment to stop, you must begin to accept your value simply because you exist.  My deepest belief is that we are all created from the divine, with divinity built into us.  Thus, by not valuing ourselves, we are devaluing the divine!  The first step to valuing yourself is to accept you are divine.  The next step is to create boundaries.  Decide how far out of your way you are willing to go that will keep you happy and your resent will diminish!

It’s my honour to serve you! God bless!

Have a question you’d like me to answer?

Email me at nina@theapostropheproject.com

Nina Ganguli is a Change Agent, Certified Professional Life Coach and Author of the book: Confessions of a Can’t-aholic: How to go from “I Can’t” to “I Can!”

For more about Nina Ganguli check out her website: www.theapostropheproject.com

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