It’s that time of year, when the excitement of all our resolutions are now waning and the reality of the changes that we are trying to make are just too much, too hard or are forcing us to move too much out of our comfort zone and last but not least, we are not seeing the results we were expecting.
The issue is that we get caught up in the hype of the New Year and resolutions, and then set unrealistic expectations of ourselves without truly connecting to the reason why we want to make the changes. Furthermore, we disappoint ourselves, feel bad about it and completely give up.

Last week I sent out a survey to my network, asking this question:

What areas are you looking for the most help in?

a) Finding my purpose.
b) How to find clarity in my life.
c) Better communication.
d) Setting goals and keeping them.
e) Managing my priorities.

The number one response was D-Setting goals and keeping them. Here is why I think we have challenges with this. We are not realistic with ourselves on what we really want, why we want it, and we don’t stay in integrity with ourselves to achieve it. We find excuses so we don’t feel bad, but that really doesn’t work because usually we end up feeling worse. I can completely relate! This has happened to me to! For instance, I have made financial resolutions, health resolutions, organizing resolutions and for the most part the results have been miserable because I didn’t really have a strong enough commitment to achieving this. However over time I have learned through experience, what does work:

1. You must be deeply connected with the Why? Why do you want to achieve the goal/resolution you have made for yourself? Why is it so important to you and what would you have if you achieved this goal?

2. Connect to who you have to BE to achieve this goal. For example, if you want to clean up your finances, what type of person do you need to be to achieve this? I would guess, that you would have to be someone who really understands budgeting and investing, so perhaps before trying to budget and invest, you reach out to a financial planner to teach you how to budget and invest your money so you are now more knowledgeable.

3. What are you willing to say NO to achieve your goals? In the case above, are you willing to cut out some extracurricular activities? Maybe you have to eat in more and make lunches every day. What would you be willing to sacrifice to achieve your goals?

4. Make your goals S.M.A.R.T : Specific, Measureable, Attainable, Realistic and Time Sensitive. Taking the above example about finances.

a. SPECIFIC-I want pay off half of my debt –make sure you know how much debt you have first!

b. MEASURABLE-how will you know you are successful, what is your measure of success?

c. ATTAINABLE-considering your lifestyle, are your goals attainable?

d. REALISTIC-are you willing to do what it takes to reach your goals?

e. TIME SPECIFIC- by when do you want to accomplish your goal? 6 months a year? This ties in to realistic as well. If have you 50K of debt you want to pay off, perhaps a 6 month deadline may not be realistic.

5. Write all of this down! According to a study done by Gail Matthews at Dominican University, those who wrote down their goals accomplished significantly more than those who didn’t. Make sure you can see this everyday! Remind yourself of what you want daily; incorporate it into every fiber of your being!

None of the above is earth shaking information; all of these techniques are in every personal development book, blog, journal etc. The issue is not necessarily the goal setting, but in the day to day grind of execution. In a world of instant gratification, and quick fixes, the mundane seems so unpleasant that we give up quickly. In order to stick to your goals, you must stand in integrity with yourself. Tell someone what you want to accomplish, put it on your calendar as a daily reminder!

The best way to success in achieving your goals is to break it down in smaller chunks. Take your big goal and then chop it up into little goals. For instance if you want to pay off 50K in debt over the course of a year, break this down into quarters or even monthly! So instead of being overwhelmed by 50K, you’re looking at $4166.00 and just concentrate on that. Then once you’ve accomplished your mini goal, celebrate your success! Celebration of your accomplishment is key! You need to pat yourself on the back for all the steps you took to reach your goal! Then move on to the next phase of your goal! You can’t run a marathon in one step! Pace yourself and have markers of success and you will be more likely to accomplish your goals!

Get real, Get excited but most of all just do it every single day!

It’s my honour to serve you! God Bless!

Comments? Questions? I would love to hear from you!

Email me at nina@theapostropheproject.com